My Train Wreck Chapter
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, they’re a train wreck just waiting to happen?
Well that was me fours years ago.
I call it my ‘train wreck chapter’ in this book called – Life.
Lying in a hospital bed in the emergency department on my husband’s 42nd birthday wasn’t exactly what I had planned.
I was 38 and I had hit a wall.
The Doctor thought it was Meningitis as I was showing all the symptoms, so I had to lie as still as I possibly could while the Doctor performed a spinal tap on me.
No. Freaking. Way.
Yeah I know, right?
As it turned out I actually had Sinusitis, which is an infection and inflammation of the sinuses.
The pain in my head was so bad I really thought I was going to die. I couldn’t stand looking at any light and the infection was so severe that the left side of my face had dropped. I had never been that sick before and hope I never am again.
After 2 weeks of shear agony I was given a course of antibiotics, which cleared it up. However, it still took me another 3 weeks to fully recover from the ordeal.
I certainly hit the wall with all the bells and whistles and I had sacrificed myself on the altar of ministry.
The voice that screamed, “STOP!” in my head before I became sick was soon quietened as quickly as it arose.
I mean, who doesn’t want to wear the ‘Busy Badge’ all the time?
That badge of honour was polished until it sparkled and shone my exhausted reflection in it.
Everyone knows that you are super important when you wear the ‘Busy Badge.’ It reminds everyone how needed you are.
THE DEMI – GOD CALLED ‘BUSYNESS’
Busyness has become a sort of Demi – god in Church circles.
Every time you ask someone how their week has been they always seem to give the same answer.
“Oh, I have been sooooo busy! It’s completely crazy I know, but what can you do?”
I’ll tell you what you can do.
JUST STOP IT!
Satan has laid a trap for you and fed you a deceptive lie into your thinking that if everyone wants a piece of you it must mean that you’re valued, right?
In some kind of twisted sense of loyalty to everyone we feel we have to do it all.
You are no use to anyone lying in a hospital bed and all those people who ‘needed you’ are doing perfectly fine without you.
I know that little revelation has totally astounded you, but it’s true.
And don’t feed into another lie that God asked you to do everything that you’re doing right now.
Believe me when I tell you that I felt God’s big, pointy finger wagging at me as I lay there ‘dying’ in the emergency department four years ago.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.
It is so important to take good care of yourself.
After my train wreck chapter I have added a little word to my vocabulary. It’s so small that you can easily miss it.
The little word is, NO.
Don’t get me wrong, I still say ‘YES’ to things, but my rule of thumb is that I need to ask myself some questions first before committing to anything.
- Do I really want to do this?
- Would something else that I’m committed to suffer if I say yes to this?
- If I took it on, would I be giving it my full attention?
You see it’s all about balance.
And don’t feel bad if the person asking you gets their nose slightly out of joint when you decline.
People who truly love and value you will give you the grace and understanding that your ‘no’ is okay.
Manipulators and control freaks are the only ones who make you feel bad about saying no.
I have learnt that the hard way.
So look after yourself because God needs you to stay fit and healthy to fulfil the purpose and calling He has placed on your precious life.